Been awhile since i last stepped into this space of mine, the old mine.
Just feel like penning some memories down, at least few years down the road, i will see this post.
Where is the love?

Every time when i have a damn nice conversation with my mum, i will always feel this way.
Yes, this way.
been spending alot of time with jasper and his gf (grace), yes, the 3 of us.
it doesnt help but keep on thinking, where is the love.

You know, by seeing the bond, the love that people share, it simply struck me, hard in the head.

I cant remember when is the last time my parents actually do something for me.
I cant remember when is the last time that somebody actually waiting for me to go home.
Wait, whats home? or just another place for me to return to when i got no where to go to anymore.

The more i think about Love, the more i feel.. lost?
I dont have a perfect family, a family that is seems nice but broken.
who truly know, who truly cares.
I dont have a perfect relationship, guess i screwed them up all the time.
Now, i deserve all these loneliness.
This path of my own, loneliness is all i feel, without support, without helps.
I feel so helpless, yes, thats the word. Helpless.
I am crying myself to sleep, i am dosing myself to sleep with those pills.
Yet, i have to pull these through all by myself.
I have to.

Say all you want that i am pitying myself.
To be honest, i am not.

This is my feeling, this is my place.
A place of my comfort zone.